February 5, 2014

For those students who win the ice pellet battle and actually make it to school, Today’s Classroom Agenda:
-Lesson 1: How to exercise your rights as citizens through letters to Mayor De Blasio.
-Lesson 2: Using nicknames in your greeting is an effective way to establish familiarity. Try “Dickhead” or “Asshat.” “Douchelord” if you’re feeling fancy.
-Lesson 3: Bodies of letters don’t always have to be formal paragraphs. Sometimes it’s ok to just make a list of reasons you hate someone.
-Lesson 4: Get creative with your closing! Phrases like “Watch your back” or “I’m coming for you” are thoughtful and fun.
-Lesson 5: Sometimes people need to know you’re serious. Signing your name in blood (perhaps the blood from the wound you sustained on that black ice during your walk to school) is a good way to communicate that.