Kid next to me on the plane eyes my Starburst pack.

Kid (to me): “Can I have some?”
Kid’s Mom: “Honey, no. You can’t just ask people to share their food with you!”
Me: “Aw no, it’s totally fine! I’m happy to share!” (Handing him a yellow one) “Here ya go!”
Kid: “I only like the red and pink ones.”
Me: (laughing) “That’s so funny– me too! Here, have one of each!”

July 22, 2014

Someone just asked me how often I think about my students in the summer, and that marked the first time I’ve thought about them.

June 25, 2014

Me: “So are you excited for summer?”
Kid: “Ummm does a bear shift in the woods?!”
Me: “I’m sorry, does a bear WHAT?”
Kid: “Shift. In the woods.”
Me: “SHIFT?”
Kid: “Yes– like shift around. My dad says it all the time. Does a bear shift in the woods?”
Me: “Umm I don’t know. Does it?”
Kid: (exasperated) “Oh my gosh, seriously? The answer is YES, OF COURSE!”

June 24th, 2014

Just now at dismissal…

Parent: “Two days left of school! How many drinks are YOU going to have on Thursday?”
Me: “Aww, none! I’m going to miss these kids so much!”

Seventeen. I will have seventeen drinks.

Chatting with the mom of the kid I tutor, I mention that my sister is having a baby. Mom claps her hands and yells “That’s so exciting!” Kid enters room.

Kid: “What’s so exciting?”
Mom: “There’s going to be a brand new baby in Miss Emily’s family!”
Kid (wide-eyed): “I knew it! I KNEW you were pregnant!”

Honest report card writing is tough.

Kid: “I told my dad you won the half marathon, and he said that can’t be true.”
Me: “Well did you tell him what I told you, that finishing is winning?”
Kid: “Yeah.”
Me: “And?”
Kid: “He said that’s what losers say.”

“You’re a teacher? Damn, girl…you’re like savin’ the world and shit!” — Cashier at Fairway

Career choice validated.

That moment when your student takes one look at you, sighs, shakes her head in dismay, and promptly removes that piece of granola bar from your hair.

Kid: “I wish I had a baby brother.”
Me: “Have you told your parents that?”
Kid: “Yeah. They said if I really want one, I better stop sleeping in their bed so they can have time to go find one.”