Latest Sassy Pedicurist encounter:

Me: “I had my 10 year college reunion this weekend.”
Sassy: “And you come for pedicure NOW? You go to party with feet like THIS?”
Me: “Relax. I wore close-toed shoes the whole time.”
Sassy: (disapproving glare) “You see old boyfriends?”
Me: “No, actually. None of them were there!”
Sassy: “Mmm hmmm. They stay home with their wives. Wives with nice feet.”