I show Sassy Pedicurist the disasterous text message exchange with Jeff.

Sassy: “This is why internet is no good for finding husband.”
Me: “You have a better suggestion?”
Sassy: “Yes. I know good man for you. He run in marathon, like you.”
Me: “Oooh, ok. That’s a good start.”
Sassy: “Mmm hmm. Very nice man. You want children?”
Me: “Yes, I do.”
Sassy: “Good. He have five.”
Me: “Oh…um…I meant, like, I want kids someday. I’m not sure I want to date someone who has five kids.”
Sassy (exasperated): “Now you being very picky.”