Dating advice from Sassy Pedicurist…

Me: “I have a first date tonight– any tips?”
Sassy: “You say to him what you want. You say, ‘I want husband. I want children.'”
Me: “I think that’s the opposite of what to do on a first date.”
Sassy: “You never do this?”
Me: “No.”
Sassy: “You have husband?”
Me: “No…”
Sassy: “Then you listen to me. And you wear red.”
Me: “I’m wearing black.”
Sassy (disapproving): “You girls in New York, always in black.”
Me: “Black is flattering!”
Sassy: “Black is for funeral. You want love, you wear red.”
Me: “I literally don’t own a red shirt.
Sassy (rolling eyes): “This is no surprise.”