Dear Future Nephew,
Look, I get it– it’s cozy in there. It’s warm, snug, and you don’t have to do a damn thing. I wish I was in there, too. But seriously, today would be a good day for you to debut. You were due yesterday, so the whole family’s here in NYC, ready, waiting, and, to be quite honest, bored. Your mom’s demeanor has gone from her status-quo unamused to fucking miserable, which was entertaining for a while, but now, sitting across from her sober, longing face every night at dinner is just making me sad and killing everyone’s buzz.
So come on, man– take it from your exasperated Auntie Em, no one likes a man who shows up late. Be a gentleman! The world needs more of them.
(On that note– never, EVER take advice from your Uncle Jeremy. I cannot stress this enough).
xoxo,
Auntie Em
Emily's Posts 