Yesterday my brother Zack ditched my family birthday dinner. He told me over text, but then immediately reassured me of this:

About 30 seconds after he texted this, I get the following email with the following subject, containing no content: 
So I responded:
Because you clearly have NO GIFT IDEA PLANNED. To which he responded: 
I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Um I will promptly cancel the expensive and delicious fucking birthday present I got you, so eat me
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