Therapist: “Just so you know, I do not read your blog. As your therapist, I think it’s a conflict of interest, and actually a patient privacy issue. So if we’re ever in a session and you refer to something you’ve written about, just know I haven’t already read it– not because I don’t WANT to, but out of respect for the doctor/patient relationship.”

Me: “Oh my gosh, of course, I totally get and respect that you don’t read it– that makes complete sense!”

Bitch.