I’ve been complaining about my frequent urination issues for a while now, so, urged by friends and family, I finally went to see a urologist.

Urologist: “So what seems to be the problem?”

Me: “I have to pee ALL the time. Way too much. Way too often.”

Urologist: “It sounds like you might have overactive bladder.”

Me: “No, I KNOW I have an overactive bladder. That’s what I’m saying. That’s the only symptom. My bladder is overactive.”

Urologist: “Right, but I’m saying, that means you probably have Overactive Bladder. That’s the name of the condition.”

Me: “Are you serious?”

Urologist: “Yes.”

Me: “So they just took the one symptom and named the condition that?”

Urologist: “Well…yes. Essentially.”

Me: “That seems lazy.”

Urologist: “I’m sorry you’re disappointed.”

Me: “So I just paid to hear things I already know. Things anyone who knows me knows.”

Urologist: “Possibly.”

Me: “Is your job even real?”

He’s doing a cystoscopy on me next week. But I’m pretty sure he recommended it just so he could say a big, medical-y term I’ve never heard of and prove his job is real.

I’m on to you, pee doctor.