“His hands were a little bit dainty.”
“He has weak texting game.”
“He lives too far from the 6 train.”
“He owns a gelato shop.”
“His name is Matt.”
Perhaps we are contributing to our fates.
Category Archives: Dating/Single Life
Believe it or Not
Kid: “Are you still going to come tutor me next Thursday?”
Me: “No, it’s Thanksgiving.”
Kid: “I know. But my mom thought maybe you didn’t have plans, since you don’t have a husband or kids.”
Me: “Well believe it or not, kiddo, you don’t need EITHER of those things to celebrate Thanksgiving! So you can let mom know I have plans with family and friends.”
Kid: “Ok.” (Screaming over shoulder) “Mommmmm!!! BELIEVE IT OR NOT, Emily DOES have plans!!!!!”
References
If you are going to claim to have a sense of humor in your online dating profile, you need to provide at least two sources who can verify this, neither of whom can be your bubby.
This Jerk
Alright, Universe, I get it– you want me to be a lesbian.
I am an Equal Opportunist
In the sense that I believe the man should always pay whenever given the opportunity.
The Statute of Limitations
I once had a boyfriend tell me he was surprised that I wasn’t more insecure about my small breast size. Just now, over 10 years later, it has occurred to me that I could have said the same thing about his penis.
So has the statute of limitations expired, or can I still contact him with this retort?
SIX HOURS
You know there’s something special there when you can have a SIX HOUR LONG conversation with a guy you JUST met.
So what if it was over text? And so what if only 3 texts were exchanged, with 2 hours between each text? SIX HOURS, guys!
This Well-Meaning But Confused Guy, Part 2
This Well-Meaning But Confused Guy, Part 1
No problem, Mark. Happy to help.
#adventuresindatingapps
Surprise
I thought I needed a boyfriend but it turns out I just needed HBO.
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