Kid: “My Aunt Rachel has that shirt you’re wearing!”
Me: “Cool!”
Kid: “She wore it like every day when she was pregnant. She calls it her ‘too tired to care shirt.'”
This is my fanciest shirt.
Category Archives: Kids/Teaching
The Secret
Me: “You look a little off today– everything ok?”
Kid: “It’s a secret.”
Me: “Ok. Well, if you feel like sharing, please do.”
3 minutes later, she throws up everywhere.
Me: “Was that the secret?”
Kid: “Yeah.”
I regret asking you to share.
#wishihadthosegloves
Genuine Concern
Kid: “Oh my god, Ms. Emily! Did someone punch you in the face?!”
Last time I get an eyebrow wax during lunch.
Next Best Thing
I arrive to tutor, and the kid’s mom greets me at the door…
Mom: “I heard you got engaged!”
Me: “Um…no, not that I’m aware of!”
Mom: “Oh. Really? That’s weird. [My daughter] has a friend in your class, and she said her teacher is engaged. She must be confused.”
Me: “Oh, well my co-teacher is engaged, so that’s probably what she meant!”
Mom: “Oh. Ok. Whoops.” (awkward pause). “Well I LOVE your shirt.”
Halloween
October 31, 2014
A kid just came by to trick-or-treat, so I gave him a handful of chocolate truffles, hershey kisses, peppermint patties, and reeses cups.
Dad of kid: “Thank god! You’re the first person in this building who actually bought halloween candy for trick-or-treaters!”
I bought nothing for halloween. This is just stuff I eat.
New Favorite Person– Ebola Dad
Me (to kid of Ebola-fearing mom): “So I heard you had strep last weekend. I got it on Tuesday.”
Kid: “Yeah, my mom told me. She said you must have touched your eye or nose with the gloves on.”
Me: “No, honey. I assure you I did not touch anything while wearing those super nifty gloves. Please remind Mom that strep is airborne. If we are breathing in the same space, we can infect one another.”
Kid: “Oh. No wonder my dad called her an idiot.”
Classic Uncle Dave
While tutoring…
Kid: “Are you dressing up for Halloween?”
Me: “No.”
Kid: “Well, my Uncle Dave is going to be a ball. You should be his chain.” (Bursts out laughing)
Me: “Did he tell you to say that to me?”
Kid: “Yes.”
Me: “Do you even know what that means?”
Kid: “No.”
Ebola Mom, Part 3
October 28, 2014
Well this is just perfect.
.
Turns Out I’m Difficult
Me (to a kid who is repeatedly stepping on my heels as we walk up the stairs): “Ok, so I love you dearly, but what is my BIGGEST pet peeve?”
Kid: “When we make you feel old.”
Me: “Not that one.”
Kid: “When we lie to you.”
Me: “No, the other one.”
Kid: “When we all ask you questions at once?”
Me: “Well…yeah. But no.”
Kid: “When we don’t do our homework?”
Me: “No. I do hate that, though.”
Kid: “When we talk while you’re talking?”
Me: “Ok, again, yes. But no.”
Kid: “When we come back from P.E. and (using air-quotes) ‘do NOT smell like a bed of roses?'”
Me: “Unpleasant, but not a peeve per se.”
Kid: “Oh! I know! When we step on your heels!”
Me: “Yes. THAT one.”
Kid: “Sorry. You have a LOT of biggest pet peeves.”
Ebola Mom, Part 2
October 26, 2014
Oh, ok. Ebola-fearing mom and I are not quite there yet…
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