Of course I’m happy to take on this extra work, responsibility, and time commitment that has just been given to me at my job! Because, as with all jobs, this means I will get a salary increase, better benefits, and more respect.

Oh, what’s that? No pay raise you say? Darn.

How bout the benefits? No? Same shitty insurance? Cool.

And the respect part? Oh, ok– that one you’re not even going to answer, you’re just going to lean back, kick up your feet and laugh maniacally.

At least I have an adult bathroom to pee in.

Oh wait.

No.