(Related to The NYC Effect)

Last night I had a dream that my whole apartment caught fire. I woke up this morning to my smoke detector beeping low battery.

The former, Maryland-born me: “Wow, I’m so lucky! That beeping went off during my sleep and caused a dream about fire as a warning that I could be in danger, so I should change the battery ASAP.  I’ll do that first thing today. Thanks for looking out for me, Universe!”

Me after 2 years in NYC: “Well that was annoying. Guess I should change the battery, though.”

Me after 5 years in NYC: “I am going to smash that thing in with a baseball bat so that it never fucks with my sleep again.”

Me this morning: <actual maniacal smashing of smoke detector, followed by spitting on it>