My friends often say that they can’t wait until I get married one day, for the sole reason that there is so much material for hilarious rehearsal dinner speeches.

But like…what are you going to do– print out and read my blog posts?

I wrote about peeing on a church. Losing a bag of cash. Refusing to wear bras. Locking myself out of my apartment naked. Growing monthly menstrual devil horns.

Sorry guys. I’m pretty sure it’s all out there.