Eric and I agreed to see a movie later, which is more action than I’ve taken in days. I am on the couch in a bathrobe, waiting until the exact last minute I have to move. Eric, despite having done no less than 5 different activities today, is now once again restless.

Eric: “I’m going to go over to Banana Republic before the movie.”

Me: “Ok.”

Eric: “Do you want to come?”

Me: “No.”

Eric: “Should I get the tickets beforehand?”

Me: “Yes.”

Eric: “And snacks?”

Me: “Yes.”

Eric: “Ok, I’ll go do all those things.”

Me: “Ok.”

Eric: “And YOU, at some point, just, you know. Put on some pants.”

Me: “Ok.”

Eric: “And get yourself there.”

Me: “Ok.”

Eric: “While I do literally everything else.”

(2 minutes later)

Me: “Wait, what time is the movie?”

He’s gone.