Doorman: “What’s that?”

Me: “It’s a newfound skip in my step, thanks to the defeat of Trump-supported child-molester Roy Moore, the win of a competent Democrat in deep-red Alabama, and a restored faith in humanity!”

Doorman: “No, that. On your face.”

Me: “Oh. That is chocolate.”

Doorman: “It’s 8:30am.”

Me: “I’M CELEBRATING.”