Eric: “I had a dream last night that you were cheating on me. You were texting some guy whose name started with a ‘C’, and I kept trying to ask you about it but you wouldn’t answer me, but I could see you texting him about where you were going to meet up. Like it was obvious you had been having a full-blown affair with this guy for a while.”

Me: “Ok, well, that’s completely ridiculous.”

Eric: “I know.”

Me: “His name doesn’t start with a ‘C.'”