All posts by Emily

Monday Mornings

Mental Health, Random Thoughts/Happenings

Monday mornings are always the perfect opportunity to reflect on all the things I meant to (but didn’t) do over the weekend, and thus feel terrible about myself.

“But Emily, you started a blog!” Yes. Here’s a list of things that I did NOT do:
1. Throw out that 3-months expired cottage cheese
2. Speak to any humans over the age of 10 days
3. Shower
4. Eat food not from cans/wine bottles
5. Throw out that candy wrapper. No, not the Toostie Roll wrapper, the Hershey’s Nuggets wrapper. Not the one by the couch. The one in my bed. The other one in my bed.

A Letter to the CIA

Kids/Teaching, Random Thoughts/Happenings
Dear CIA,
To be clear, when I find a curse word written on a post-it in my classroom and I pretend that I am going to use the “Handwriting Analyzer” app on my iPhone to solve the who-done-it, making the 4th grade culprit so nervous that he cries and confesses– THAT is using an “enhanced interrogation technique.”
Rectal feeding is not. That is torture.
Maybe next time try MY trick.
Emily

Yup.

Family, Kids/Teaching

Kid: “Did your nephew come out yet?!”
Me: “Yes! Finally!”
Kid: “Through a cut in the belly, or through the hoo-ha?”
Me: “Oh. Um. I think that’s maybe a little bit too personal a question for me to answer.”
Kid (smug): “Definitely through the hoo-ha then.”