As it turns out, there is a direct correlation between your age and how stupid you will feel walking to work on pajama day.
All posts by Emily
Magic Skills Teachers Have
Oh hello new neighbor! Are you a teacher? Because only a teacher could carry a Louis Vuitton bag that big yet still manage to look poor.
Teacher Appreciation
May 8, 2014
Thank you, parents of student, for acknowledging Teacher Appreciation Week with this $5 Starbucks gift card. I will enjoy every sip of the 1/3 of a latte that I am able to purchase with it.
Well here’s something I’ve never been asked before:
Art Teacher (to me, during a field trip at The Met): “So I really want to take your students to see the African art, but in order to get there we have to walk through a hall of huge, wooden penises. What do you think?”
Best Day
May 6, 2014
Free Chipotle for Teacher Appreciation Week!? And just like that, my masters degree pays for itself.
One Point for Mom
While tutoring…
Kid: “Are you 30?”
Me: “No. 32.”
Kid: “Do you have kids?”
Me: “No.”
Kid: “Are you married?”
Me: “No.”
Kid: “Oh geez…” (Screaming over her shoulder) “MOMMMM!!!!! YOU WERE RIGHT!!!!!”
Things Adults Do
May 5, 2014– the day I bought my groceries in a grocery store instead of CVS.
Sorry, Kids
People keep asking if I’m excited about the increase in NYC teacher salaries. My answer is this: The day I can look my students straight in the eye and tell them that, financially speaking, becoming a teacher is a more responsible decision than becoming a stripper, is the day I will be excited.
Today is not that day.
My Bad
May 3, 2013
Dear Neighbor,
I really thought that I could toss that bag into the hallway trash chute outside my door so quickly that no one would see me, and therefore putting on pants first would be unnecessary.
Clearly, I was wrong.
Sorry for the weird start to your morning,
Emily
My Child Self Should be Smacked in the Face
Dear Child Self,
Stop being such a whiny little bitch about naptime. You’ll miss that shit when it’s gone.
Adult Self
