Sometimes I genuinely feel that my life stories are so entertaining and interesting that my therapist should be paying me $300 a session to listen to them.
This is probably why I need a therapist.
Tag Archives: therapists
Counterpoint
Therapist: “You have to remember that life is a journey.”
Me: “Yeah, well. So was the Titanic.”
I should pay her more. This can’t be fun.
Things I Learned in Therapy Today
Never say to your therapist, “It’s complete batshit insanity!” in reference to a fairly common work problem. Because their insanity scale is slightly skewed, and starting your story with this statement is bound to produce an unimpressed reaction when you hit the big “And THEN I was expected to finish ALL THAT PAPER WORK in only TWO days!” climax.
Oh also it’s highly offensive and insulting to their entire profession. And to you.
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