Tag Archives: therapists

Wait. What Are You Trying to Imply?

March 29, 2023Mental Healthaging, anxiety, anxiety disorder, counseling, depression, dream analysis, dreams, growing pains, mental health, nightmares, psychotherapy, therapists, therapy, timeEmily

Therapist: “How are you feeling about turning 41?”

Me: “I honestly haven’t really thought about it at all! So I’m fine, I guess! Everything is fine!”

Therapist: “Ok. And how have you been sleeping?”

Me: “Oh, well that’s been less fine. Lately I wake up about 3 times a night drenched in sweat. I’m having constant nightmares. They usually involve time– like I’m late for something, or I’m running out of time to do something, and the consequences will be huge. Last night Eric had to shake me awake because I was screaming– apparently in my dream I was being chased by an oversized grandfather clock, like the size of Big Ben, just waiting to fall over and crush me to death.”

(silence)

Me: “What?”

Therapist: “I’ll ask you again, how are you feeling about turning 41?”

Me: “I haven’t really thought about it at all! Why?”

Therapist:

Elaborate

October 22, 2019Mental Healthanxiety, depression, mental health, mental illness, therapists, therapyEmily

Therapist: “And how did that make you feel?”
Me: “Shitty.”
Therapist: “Elaborate on that. Be more descriptive of the feeling.”
Me: “Shitty…like, the way a piece of shit on the ground probably feels.”
Therapist:

Like, REAL air?

June 28, 2019Mental Healthanxiety, anxiety disorder, anxious, depression, feelings, mental health, motherhood, parenthood, therapists, therapyEmily

That she is not in fact a robot will never cease to take me by surprise:

Me: “So yeah, sometimes all the ‘what ifs’ really paralyze me, in terms of all the bad things that could possibly happen to Nora.”

Therapist: “Of course. As parents, we will always feel that to a degree.”

Me: “Wait– YOU’RE a PARENT?”

Therapist: “Yes, to a 13-year-old daughter….”

Me: “You have a DAUGHTER?!”

Therapist: “…and a 9 year old daughter.”

Me: “You have TWO daughters??!!”

Therapist: “Yes, so I know that feeling….”

Me: “You have FEELINGS?”

Therapist: “…. of being so scared for your child, you forget how to breathe air.”

Me: “You BREATHE AIR?!”

May 14, 2019Mental Healthanxiety, depression, mental health, mental illness, therapists, therapyEmily

That moment when you come across your therapist’s Facebook profile, and realize she has a life outside of your sessions.

May 7, 2019Mental Healthhumor, mental health, sense of humor, therapists, therapyEmily

Me: “Be honest, I’m the funniest patient you have, right?”

Therapist: “I can’t answer that.”

Me: “Oh COME ON. Just admit it.”

Therapist: “Ok, ok. Fine.”

Me:

Therapist: “You’re not.”

When You Die

September 7, 2018Mental Health, parenthoodanxiety, babies, mental health, mental illness, motherhood, newborns, parenthood, therapists, therapyEmily

Therapist: “I know you’re overwhelmed and it’s a lot of change. But having a kid is the absolute best lesson in learning how to let go of control. You’ve had many opportunities for this lesson in the past, and it’s always been scary at first but beneficial in the end.”

Me: “Right. Well, I guess with those lessons, there was always kind of an end point. I feel like this time there is no end. Like the second I become ok and comfortable with something, she’s going to change.”

Therapist: “Correct. The lesson is ongoing. It ends when you die.”

Me:

Therapist:

Me:

Therapist: “K so here’s your August invoice! See you next week!”

We Have Complete Faith In Ourselves

July 24, 2018Mental Health, parenthood, pregnancyanxiety, anxiety disorder, depression, mental health, mental illness, parenthood, parenting, pregnancy, therapists, therapyEmily

Oh I See What You Did There

October 19, 2017Mental Health, Teachinganxiety, children, depression, kids, mental health, mental illness, parenting, parents, professionalism, therapists, therapy, tutoringEmily

Parent of student: “Why isn’t her math improving more?!”

Me (aloud): “Progress takes time.”

Me (internally): “Little do you know, ‘Progress takes time’ is just my vague, polite, professional code for GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK, LADY– I see your kid one hour a week. If she doesn’t put in the effort between sessions, well…I’M NOT A GODDAMN WIZARD.”

Me: “Why aren’t I improving more?!”

Therapist: “Progress takes time.”

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Two Can Play This Game

October 6, 2017Mental Healthanxiety, anxiety disorder, depression, mental health, mental illness, therapists, therapyEmily

“No– what do YOU think?”

— Me, to my therapist.

And then her universe imploded.

Afraid

September 25, 2017blogging, Mental Healthblogging, children, fear of failure, fears, kids, math, mental health, mental illness, motivation, procrastination, school, teaching, therapist, therapists, therapy, tutoring, writingEmily

Teaching kid a new math skill…

Kid: “Can you show me one more time? I’m not ready to try.”
Me: “I showed you several times– at this point you will learn best by doing it yourself. Just give it a try!”
Kid: “But sometimes I get afraid to try.”
Me: “There is nothing to be afraid of. Trying is how you learn, and if it doesn’t go the way you want it to, that just gives you good information for how to try again. Learning and success is a process, kiddo!”
Kid: “So you mean if I get it wrong, just learn from it?”
Me: “Yes! You got it!”
Kid: “When you say it like that, it doesn’t sound so scary.”
Me: “Exactly. It really is THAT easy. Just try! I promise you, you have nothing to lose!”

(2 hours later)

Therapist: “So have you taken any steps to pursue a writing career?”
Me: “No. I’m too afraid to try.”

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