I actually love a good crying, meltdown tantrum during a tutoring session because it provides me with really valuable practice for the kind of mother I plan to be.
A really mean, unfair, impatient one.
“American. Hawaiian I think. Last name Wei.”
— Dad, naming the ethnicity of every woman playing in this televised golf tournament.
(Continuation of Ebola Mom, Part 67 )
Ah, there it is.
The universe calibrates.
(Part of the Ebola Mom series )
My favorite part of this is that she doesn’t know how to space the exclamation points because I’m pretty sure she’s never used one.
Ran into a former student and his mom on the street.
Mom: “How’s the tutoring business going?”
Me: “Great! But, you know (smiling at the kid)— I really miss the classroom!”
Mom: “Oh please. No you don’t.”
Me (laughing): “Really, I do!”
Mom: “You do NOT!”
Me: “I do!”
Mom (pointing at kid): “You don’t have to pretend for him. It’s fine.”
Me: “Ok yeah I really don’t.”
I am sitting in a large window nook at Starbucks doing work. The nook is meant for sitting– there is another woman here too, working on her laptop. As we’re typing away, a man walks in with a screaming baby. That’s fine– babies scream. You know what’s NOT fine? When he lay the baby down 6 INCHES FROM MY LAP and changed his shit-filled diaper, right next to my Peach Tranquility tea and half-eaten Kind bar.
Then, AFTER he changed the diaper, he took the baby to the bathroom with him so he could wash his hands, leaving the shit-filled wipes sitting on the ledge, right between me and the other woman.
This begs two questions:
- If you ended up taking the baby into the bathroom with you anyway, and therefore clearly knew there was an available bathroom, why didn’t you just change the baby in there?
- WHAT. THE ACTUAL. FUCK?!
This is a public restaurant. WITH FOOD! People are eating and drinking. You are NOT allowed to whip out a mountain of poop in my face. At least not on purpose!
NYC lost 10 points today.
So did parenthood.
(Part of the Ebola Mom series)
Glad someone’s keeping track of her kid’s progress.
For reference, the state tests are scored on a 1-4 scale:
1= below grade level
2= approaching grade level
3= on grade level
4= above grade level