Tag Archives: etiquette

Etiquette

Given the tagline of this blog, or what anyone can decipher from reading no less than three random posts, etiquette is not really my thing. I just don’t know the rules, and somehow I’ve reached age 35 without developing any kind of learned or innate sense for them. So help me out here.

Eric and I received a card from people who attended our wedding. We are prettttttty sure, given the wording of the card, and given who these people are, that they meant to include a check, but forgot.

Now, to be clear, it’s not that we’re so concerned with getting a gift, we just think these people would want to know if they forgot to send it. Right?

Also we want our fucking gift.

No no jk. Seriously, it’s the first reason I said.

So what’s the next step here? We considered calling them and being like, “Hey, cool card! I think the money fell out!” but there’s still that 5% chance they purposely chose to not give a gift.

Here are some ideas we’ve come up with:

  1. Write them a thank you card for their card.
  2. Split Uber fares with them until we’ve totaled the amount we’re pretty sure they would’ve given us.
  3. Have another wedding and let them try again.
  4. Instead of posting this post, “accidentally” email it to them.
  5. If doing #4, erase #4. And #5.
  6. Buy a corgi, send a thank you card for said corgi, include receipt for corgi, along with this emoji img_3482. When they call us to be like “Um, we didn’t buy you a corgi,” be like “You didn’t? The corgi guy said it was from you! Sorry, what DID you get us?” and when they’re like, “We sent a check,” we’ll be like, “Ohhh, funny thing, we actually got a card from you and there was no check in it!” and then we all laugh and they re-send a check and we pay for the corgi ourselves.
  7. Do #6, but if instead of saying “We sent a check” they say “We gave you a card,” say “WELL NOW YOU GOT US A CORGI TOO, MOTHERFUCKERS!” and hang up. Laugh maniacally. Stroke corgi.
  8. Post this post, have everyone who sent us a card wonder if they are the subjects of it. Field many texts.

No Secrets in THAT House

“Oh my god, have so much fun [at your bachelorette party] tonight! At my bachelorette party I got so drunk, there were MULTIPLE strippers, and there are just these ridiculous photos of me hanging off of stripper poles and, like, penises EVERYWHERE.”

— Parent of former student, just now on the street, while holding her 5-year-old daughter’s hand.

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Sorry, Kid

Ran into a former student and his mom on the street.

Mom: “How’s the tutoring business going?”
Me: “Great! But, you know (smiling at the kid)— I really miss the classroom!”
Mom: “Oh please. No you don’t.”
Me (laughing): “Really, I do!”
Mom: “You do NOT!”
Me: “I do!”
Mom (pointing at kid): “You don’t have to pretend for him. It’s fine.”
Me: “Ok yeah I really don’t.”

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This is Why We Work

Eric and I have been emailing with the wedding photographer in order to schedule our “Engagement Photo Shoot” (Yes. We know this should have been done months ago. SHUT UP.). We honestly didn’t even really want to do this shoot, as the whole concept doesn’t seem very “us.” But it’s included in the package, and we are unwilling to waste a dime, so we are going to do it– but we want it done OUR way.

So we emailed the photographer requesting that the shoot be of the two of us doing “everyday activities.” She responded saying that sounded like a great idea– and suggested a day at the zoo.

Eric was having none of that shit.

He emailed this back:

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