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You’re Not?

We are in Potomac this weekend and, in an attempt to gain major son-in-law points (leaving Andrew in the dust), and because he’s just a ridiculously thoughtful guy, Eric searched far and wide for the perfect retirement gift for my dad. Unbeknownst to me, he contacted my dad’s wine guy in California, found him the perfect bottle, and had it shipped to the house today. He topped it off with a thoughtful card congratulating him on his retirement, and wishing him luck as he embarks on this new journey in life.

Dad (opens card): “I’m not retiring.”

Oh.

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“You know… the man in the yellow hat never really gave Curious George a good scratch. I mean– he was a monkey! Not one good scratch. Nothing documented, at least.”

(30 second silence)

“What a dickhead.”

— Eric, on melatonin