Category Archives: Uncategorized

And Then I Paid HER For the Session

Kids, Kids/Teaching, Uncategorized

During a tutoring session with a 2nd grader…

Me (after we read a story about a man who wasted his wishes on material things, and ended up with nothing): “And so if you had one wish, what would it be?”

Kid (thinks long and hard; seems indecisive): “I guess….a red sno-cone. That’s my favorite.”

Me (disappointed): “Really? You looked like you were deciding between that and something else. Something a little more meaningful, maybe….?”

Kid: “Well, I was going to say I’d wish for the world to be a better place.”

Me: “YES!!!! YES YES YES. I love that. Now THAT is a beautiful, powerful, meaningful wish. Why didn’t you choose that one?!”

Kid: “Because you can’t wish for that.”

Me: (confused)

Kid: “You have to DO that. You can’t just wish for it, you have to DO it.”

12-stats

 

IgNORA

Uncategorized

Eric: “Nora!”

Nora: (ignores)

Eric: “Nora!”

Nora: (ignores)

Eric: “Nora! Look at me!”

Nora: (ignores)

Eric: “NORA!!”

Nora: (sees Cookie Monster stuffed animal on floor) “Cookieeeeeee!”

Eric (defeated): “You’re just like your mother.”

Yellow!

Awkward Encounters, Kids, parenthood, Uncategorized, , , , ,

At the kiddie gym, Nora is playing at the chalk board with another boy.

Nora (picks up yellow piece of chalk, shows it to boy): “It’s yellow!”

Boy’s Mom: “Oh my god, she knows her colors?! That’s amazing!”

Me: “Yeah I know it’s crazy.”

Boy’s Mom: “She’s a genius!”

Me: “Haha I like to think so!”

Nora: (picks up pink chalk): “It’s yellow!”

Nora: (picks up green chalk) “It’s yellow!”

Nora: (picks up blue chalk) “It’s yellow!”

Me: “Haha ok maybe she doesn’t know ALL the colors….”

Nora: (picks up bug off the floor) “It’s yellow!”

Me: “No no Nora that’s a bu—”

Nora: (eats bug)

Me: “Nora, no!”

Nora (mouth full of bug): “It’s yellow!”

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Boy’s Mom: <Picks up kid. Leaves.>

 

 

 

 

 

Not Postpartum Depression

Mental Health, parenthood, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , ,

Speaking with a new mom I met in our building, who has a son around Nora’s age, I mention that as much as I’m completely in love with my daughter, I’ve definitely had some bumps along the way in adjusting to motherhood.

Her: “Ugh, I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with postpartum depression.”

Me: “Oh, you’re very sweet and I appreciate that so much, but I actually, very fortunately, have NOT had to deal with postpartum depression.”

Her: “Oh, my bad! I just thought from what you were saying…it sounded like a postpartum depression type thing.”

Me: “Oh, no. I actually was very nervous I’d have postpartum depression because I’m definitely at risk. But surprisingly I didn’t. What I’m talking about is just like normal parenthood transition stuff, you know?”

Her: url

Me: “Maybe you DON’T know…”

Her: “I don’t know, I guess I just haven’t found the transition difficult at all.  It’s really only brought me joy.”

Me: “Wow, that’s awesome. You’ve really never been totally overwhelmed? Or anxious about the huge responsibility of raising a human? Or even just like ‘AHHHH I miss my old life!?'”

Her: “Honestly, no. I love every second of it. Is that weird?”

Me: “I mean no, it’s amazing! Good for you.  ENJOY IT!”

You lying cunt.