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IgNORA

Eric: “Nora!”

Nora: (ignores)

Eric: “Nora!”

Nora: (ignores)

Eric: “Nora! Look at me!”

Nora: (ignores)

Eric: “NORA!!”

Nora: (sees Cookie Monster stuffed animal on floor) “Cookieeeeeee!”

Eric (defeated): “You’re just like your mother.”

Yellow!

At the kiddie gym, Nora is playing at the chalk board with another boy.

Nora (picks up yellow piece of chalk, shows it to boy): “It’s yellow!”

Boy’s Mom: “Oh my god, she knows her colors?! That’s amazing!”

Me: “Yeah I know it’s crazy.”

Boy’s Mom: “She’s a genius!”

Me: “Haha I like to think so!”

Nora: (picks up pink chalk): “It’s yellow!”

Nora: (picks up green chalk) “It’s yellow!”

Nora: (picks up blue chalk) “It’s yellow!”

Me: “Haha ok maybe she doesn’t know ALL the colors….”

Nora: (picks up bug off the floor) “It’s yellow!”

Me: “No no Nora that’s a bu—”

Nora: (eats bug)

Me: “Nora, no!”

Nora (mouth full of bug): “It’s yellow!”

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Boy’s Mom: <Picks up kid. Leaves.>

 

 

 

 

 

Not Postpartum Depression

Speaking with a new mom I met in our building, who has a son around Nora’s age, I mention that as much as I’m completely in love with my daughter, I’ve definitely had some bumps along the way in adjusting to motherhood.

Her: “Ugh, I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with postpartum depression.”

Me: “Oh, you’re very sweet and I appreciate that so much, but I actually, very fortunately, have NOT had to deal with postpartum depression.”

Her: “Oh, my bad! I just thought from what you were saying…it sounded like a postpartum depression type thing.”

Me: “Oh, no. I actually was very nervous I’d have postpartum depression because I’m definitely at risk. But surprisingly I didn’t. What I’m talking about is just like normal parenthood transition stuff, you know?”

Her: url

Me: “Maybe you DON’T know…”

Her: “I don’t know, I guess I just haven’t found the transition difficult at all.  It’s really only brought me joy.”

Me: “Wow, that’s awesome. You’ve really never been totally overwhelmed? Or anxious about the huge responsibility of raising a human? Or even just like ‘AHHHH I miss my old life!?'”

Her: “Honestly, no. I love every second of it. Is that weird?”

Me: “I mean no, it’s amazing! Good for you.  ENJOY IT!”

You lying cunt.

 

 

That IS Fair

My therapist and I discuss the experience of depressive episodes now that I’m a mom.

Me: “I’ve only experienced one depressive episode since having Nora, and luckily it was brief, but I’d say it was still miserable, just with a different twist. Like I always feel an immense amount of guilt when I’m depressed, but this time the guilt was mom-focused. I wasn’t able to really engage with Nora in the same way, and that made me feel like a terrible mother.”

Therapist: “When you say you couldn’t engage, what do you mean?”

Me: “Well like for example, she was just starting to roll over for the first time, and I couldn’t really connect with the experience in the way I wanted to. Like she was doing it and I was there witnessing it, but I just wasn’t…interested.”

Therapist: “Well, to be fair– that’s not interesting.”

Thinking_Face_Emoji

 

Glad We Cleared That Up

(Walking past a restaurant in our neighborhood)

Eric: “I took you on a date here.”

Me: “Yes. Our 3rd date. We ate a big plate of cheese.”

Eric: “Right.”

Me: “And we sat outside and some guy you kind of knew walked by and you actually stopped him to say hello and chat and I was like ‘Oh man, this guy is WAY too friendly for me, this will never work.'”

Eric (somewhat offended): “So you were going to rule me out because I was friendly?!”

Me: “No, I wasn’t going to rule you out! I thought you’d rule ME out– I thought, like, ‘Oh, this guy is way friendlier than I am. He’s going to think I’m a total bitch.'”

Eric: “Oh.”

(Silence)

Eric: “Yeah. I did.”

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