A Golden Opportunity

This blizzard seems like the perfect opportunity to join Tinder, as it is a known fact that anything you do during a blizzard cannot be held against you in a court of public opinion about the state of your life*.

*public opinion includes family**
**family includes you, Mom***
***Someone please explain Tinder to my mom****
****You know what? Maybe don’t.*****
*****Mom– Tinder is a place where nice, rich, Jewish men go to find intelligent, head-strong, confident women who absolutely don’t NEED a man but regardless would be fine settling down with a guy who likes wine and Tina Fey and buying diamonds and going to the Breakers in Palm Beach every winter.******
******I know, it’s a weirdly specific site.

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