I took a look at my weekly FitBit step count and saw that my friend Leslie’s number was oddly low.

A normal, rational brain: “That’s an unusually low number of steps for Leslie to have walked in the past week. She must not be wearing her FitBit.”

My brain: “LESLIE IS DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!”

(She’s not dead. I confirmed via text. Because even with a possible death on the line, voice calls are hard.)