“Please stop licking your friend’s hand.”

March 12, 2014

Highlight (arguably lowlight) of last night’s parent/teacher conferences:

Me: “Do you have any other concerns you’d like to discuss?”
Father of student: “Yes. I know this is a trivial thing, but can you please teach my son to rub it out properly?”

Me: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Kid: “I used to want to be a teacher. But then I won’t be able to live in a building with a doorman or buy the good kind of sneakers. Or, like, pay for haircuts.”
Me: “Who says teachers can’t do that?”
Kid: “My dad.”

That moment when you realize you’re not smart enough to tutor this 6th grader.