When Nora announced she wanted to take ballet lessons, I was of course supportive, but also amused because as a child (and adult!), I was the furthest thing from a graceful dancer. Or any kind of dancer. I don’t exactly walk straight.

I was a soccer player. And generally a tomboy who partook in nothing classically “girly.”

But when your child is excited about something (that is actually productive and not mind-numbingly stupid, like Candyland or football), you hop on board. So I got her the necessary gear and dropped her off for her very first ballet class. I was pretty proud of how professional she looked in her lavender leotard, pink ballet slippers and ballerina bun. No one could ever guess her mom had to google “stuff for ballet?” in order to get her ready for class.

Then when I picked her up…

Instructor: “Hi there! You’re Nora’s mom?”

Me: “I am!”

Instructor: “In case you’re wondering why Nora’s barefoot— I had her take off her shoes for class.”

Me: “Oh, were they hurting her?”

Instructor: “No, she couldn’t point her toes in them.”

Me: “Oh. Because they’re too small?”

Instructor: “No. Because they’re not ballet slippers.”

Me: “They’re not?”

Instructor: “No.”

Me: “They look like ballet slippers to me!”

Instructor: “Ok. They are not, though.”

Me: “How can one even tell these aren’t ballet slippers?”

Instructor: “Well, you can tell because they’re not slippers. And they’re not, you know…for ballet.”

Me:

“Well then what kind of shoes ARE these?”

Instructor: “Pink shoes. Flats. They are pink flats. With a rounded toe.”

Me: “For…?”

Instructor: “Walking? Wearing to school? Or a party? They’re for anything, really. Except, of course, ballet.”

Me: “Ok, well. You can see my confusion.”

Instructor: “I cannot.”