I do not apologize for, and am 100% fine with, the fact that I did not recognize even ONE famous athlete in the movie “Trainwreck,” including LeBron James. I was grateful that the script actually stated, “You know who that is, right? That’s LeBron James,” because no, I did NOT know who that was. Much like Amy Schumer’s character, I simply thought he was a very tall, handsome, muscular black man.

I did, however, know every single comedian who made an appearance in the film and have read most of their memoirs.

I can’t be a girl who is funny AND who likes sports.

The universe would implode, guys.