Tutoring a 5th grader…

Kid: “Do you ever feel sadness?”
Me: “Sure.”

I call it “Winter.”

When it happens in the fall, I call it “Mental Health Disorder.”

When it happens in the summer, I call it “Hangover.”

When it happens in the spring, I call it “For The Love of God, WTF Is Wrong With You?! It’s SPRING– WHY AREN’T YOU HAPPY?! You Are The WORST. And Stop Resenting Those Happy People Over There. It’s Not Their Fault They Know How To Enjoy Things While You Feel Dead Inside. For Christ’s Sake, Come On, The Sun Is Out!” (I’ll admit this one could use a nickname).

We’ll call yours “Puberty.”

Regardless, grab a hat, some chocolate (or, ideally– a chocolate hat) and hold the fuck on.