“So you can make it stop being cold, right?”
“No.”
“But you can get rid of Daylight Savings, maybe?”
“No.”
“So basically, you’re like Al Roker now.”
“Not at all.”
Apparently I don’t quite understand Eric’s new job at The Weather Company.
Tag Archives: winter
There Has to be a Better Solution
“You know what I’ve found really helps? Getting dressed in the morning.”
— fellow work-from-homer, on how to combat winter blues.
People I Have it More Together Than
Because sometimes, on the first day of winter, you need a list.
- Rob Kardashian
- I took a 10 minute pause here at #2 and stared blankly at the screen because I literally couldn’t think of anyone else. So I got up, retied my bathrobe, stretched what I’m pretty sure is the beginning of a weird-sleeping-position-induced torn rotator cuff, and took a brief walk from the living room to the other side of the living room (estimated distance 5 feet). I recognize this probably invalidates the entire concept of my list, but I’m sorry my work life is weirder than yours.
The dog on the 29th floor who shits in the stairwell(realized this list should be humans)All characters on Shameless(realized this list should be real humans)Michael Jackson(realized this list should be real humans who are still alive and who were not child molesters)Bill Cosby(realized having it more together than a rapist isn’t great)Paula Dean(same as above, swap rapist for racist. Also I think she’s pulled it together now, at least publicly. No? Ugh I don’t know, I haven’t thought about her in years, and I’m sure neither have you. I have no idea how she ended up on this list. You can see how desperate I’m getting.)My night doorman who’s always asleep(No, you know what? Good for him.)The dirty cat who lives in the corner store(I changed my mind about the “has to be a human” rule, then doubted my decision and changed my mind back again, because THAT’S WHAT LIVING IN MY HEAD IS LIKE. Also, even if I DID include non-humans, I’m not sure that cat could even make the list because, honestly, he does always look warm.)- I give up.
This exercise really backfired.
I shaved my legs!
Welp. Tis the season.
Oh Hello, Seasonal Affective Disorder
“No. No. It’s too early for this.”
— my doorman, to Eric, pointing at me wearing my Canada Goose knee-length puffy coat, Uggs, ear warmers, and gloves.
I’m fucking cold.
The First Sign
“Oh god. Winter is coming.”
— Eric, seeing the ring of vaseline around my mouth as I got into bed last night.
Moody
I’ve been accused of being moody, but I really don’t think it’s too much to ask that everyone stay out of my damn way when I’m PMSing, when it’s Sunday night, when it’s all day Monday, or when it’s winter. The second half of autumn and any high-allergy spring is a risky time as well. Best to stay out of my damn way then, too.
I am absolutely delightful on June 29th.
My Favorite Excuses
“There’s an impending snowstorm” is one of my favorite excuses to hibernate all weekend and do nothing but sleep and eat.
Right up there with “I’m a teacher,” “I’m in my 30’s” and “This is just who I am.”
Thanks For Your Help
It’s particularly hard to find the Starbucks iced Via packets during the winter season (I like to chug them for an energy boost before my morning runs….don’t ask), so I went out of my way to venture into a different Starbucks today, hopeful that they might have some.
Me: “Hi! Do you guys have any iced Via packets in stock?”
Barista: “Ugh, no I’m sorry. We’re all out.”
Me: “Ok. Figured I’d try! The iced Via packs are very hard to find in the winter!”
Barista: “Oh oh oh WAIT– you want the ICED ones?!”
Me (excited): “Yes!!!”
Barista: “I didn’t realize you said iced.”
Me: “Oh, sorry, maybe I forgot to say it– yes, iced!”
Barista: “Yeah we definitely don’t have those.”
