Me: “Tomorrow is Daylight Savings and it’s going to be 67 degrees on Monday!!!”
My Seasonal Affective Disorder: 
Tag Archives: winter blues
I DO Have Plans
YES, PLEASE!
Me: “I just haven’t been feeling great for the past month. I’m exhausted and unmotivated and just want to hibernate.”
Therapist: “Wine or booze?”
Me: “Oh my god, yes! Please! Both!”
Therapist: “Excuse me?”
Me: “Huh?”
Therapist: “I said ‘winter blues?'”
Me: “Oh….”
Therapist: “What did you think I said?”
Me: “Nothing.”
Just thought you were offering an ACTUAL CONCRETE SOLUTION FOR ONCE.
She Has the Utmost Confidence In Me
Me: “So, my building only allows dogs if it’s a medical necessity, and ’emotional support’ is considered a medical reason. Eric and I were thinking it might be a good idea for me to have a puppy around, so if you were to write a–”
Therapist: “Nope.”
Trying Really Hard
Me: “So, I’m already having a really hard time this winter. I think I’m mildly depressed. I might need to up my meds. And I know what you’re going to say– that I don’t look depressed. That I look energetic and healthy. But don’t be fooled. That’s just because I’m trying REALLY HARD not to look depressed.”
Therapist: “No, I actually think you do look depressed.”
Me: “Oh.”
Therapist: “You don’t look well. For you.”
Me: “I see.”
Therapist: “You look tired.”
Me: “Uh huh.”
Therapist: “Your eyes look a bit sunken in.”
Me: “So the makeup’s not working…”
Therapist: “There’s a grayness to you.”
Me: “Yikes.”
Therapist: “And you’re slouching.”
Me: “I think that’s just a thing I do…”
Therapist: “And is that ranch dressing on your shirt?”
Me: “Ok enough.”
So much for trying hard.
There Has to be a Better Solution
“You know what I’ve found really helps? Getting dressed in the morning.”
— fellow work-from-homer, on how to combat winter blues.
People I Have it More Together Than
Because sometimes, on the first day of winter, you need a list.
- Rob Kardashian
- I took a 10 minute pause here at #2 and stared blankly at the screen because I literally couldn’t think of anyone else. So I got up, retied my bathrobe, stretched what I’m pretty sure is the beginning of a weird-sleeping-position-induced torn rotator cuff, and took a brief walk from the living room to the other side of the living room (estimated distance 5 feet). I recognize this probably invalidates the entire concept of my list, but I’m sorry my work life is weirder than yours.
The dog on the 29th floor who shits in the stairwell(realized this list should be humans)All characters on Shameless(realized this list should be real humans)Michael Jackson(realized this list should be real humans who are still alive and who were not child molesters)Bill Cosby(realized having it more together than a rapist isn’t great)Paula Dean(same as above, swap rapist for racist. Also I think she’s pulled it together now, at least publicly. No? Ugh I don’t know, I haven’t thought about her in years, and I’m sure neither have you. I have no idea how she ended up on this list. You can see how desperate I’m getting.)My night doorman who’s always asleep(No, you know what? Good for him.)The dirty cat who lives in the corner store(I changed my mind about the “has to be a human” rule, then doubted my decision and changed my mind back again, because THAT’S WHAT LIVING IN MY HEAD IS LIKE. Also, even if I DID include non-humans, I’m not sure that cat could even make the list because, honestly, he does always look warm.)- I give up.
This exercise really backfired.
I shaved my legs!
Welp. Tis the season.
Moody
I’ve been accused of being moody, but I really don’t think it’s too much to ask that everyone stay out of my damn way when I’m PMSing, when it’s Sunday night, when it’s all day Monday, or when it’s winter. The second half of autumn and any high-allergy spring is a risky time as well. Best to stay out of my damn way then, too.
I am absolutely delightful on June 29th.
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