Kid: “I’m really tired.”

Me: “Did you eat breakfast?”

Kid: “Yeah I had a donut.”

Me: “Well I’m not sure that was the most responsible choice, now was it?”

Last night I ate delivery-ordered mozzerella sticks that for some reason arrived completely hollow, so we scooped cheese off a slice of pizza and shoved it inside the empty fried sticks. That was dinner.

But seriously– a donut? Get it together, kid.