Kid (complaining): “Why is my photo on the classroom door in black and white and everyone else’s is in color?”

Me: “Because you missed the entire first week of school when we took the photos, so we had to print yours on the classroom printer instead of CVS. Remember that? When you missed the whole first week, because mom thought it was more important for you to be on vacation than to be in school learning? And you came back and had no idea what to do, and we had to take the time to re-explain every single thing you missed?”

Kid (head down): “Yeah…”

As a child, I missed the entire first week of school every single year, K through 8th grade, to vacation with my family in the Outer Banks. 

It was fucking awesome.