Me (after a thorough explanation of exactly what “author’s purpose” means): “So a good way to think about the author’s purpose is to remember the acronym PIE– persuade, inform, or entertain. Today you will read your own books and try to decide what the author’s purpose is. Is it to persuade? Inform? Or entertain? Maybe a little of all three. Record your thoughts in the table, with evidence from the text.”

Kids: <blank stares>

Me: “I’m going to take your silence to mean you understand. Now, are there any relevant questions?”

Kid who has never once asked a relevant question raises hand.

Me: “A RELEVANT question.”

Hand still raised.

Me: “What is your question?”

Kid: “I’ve never tasted pie before.”