There was a shooting at Montgomery Mall, which is less than 5 minutes from my parents’ house. Nobody had heard from Mom.
What ensued was the world’s jewiest game of Clue.
Then, hours later, Mom, unable to figure out the tricky mechanics of group texting (she has an iPhone), sent this to just Jeremy:
Case closed.
Not only is Mom alive, she lives a way better life than the rest of us.
Emily's Posts 
Love this! My mom sent me a text yesterday saying she almost drowned and had to have 3 lifeguards save her. I call her panicked and she was fine! She didn’t almost drowned- she got “tired” and went out too far so the lifeguards were whistling her in. She’s dramatic, but hilarious!
You should check out the Instagram @crazyjewishmom it’s so funny and relatable!
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