Parent (to kid, picking him up at dismissal): “So, what’d you do at field day today?”
Kid: “Passed a cup to my friend.”
Parent: “You mean passed a ball?”
Kid: “No. A cup.”
Parent: “I don’t understand.”
I know, lady. Neither do we.
Category Archives: Kids/Teaching
Modern Day Note-Passing in Class
That moment when a kid’s cell phone goes off in the middle of class, so you confiscate it. And then, and you’re holding it, she receives several texts from a classmate who is home sick.
Let’s just say I now know exactly who has crushes on whom in the 4th grade.
This literally MADE my morning.
My life is sad.
Yeah That’s Not How Cologne Works
That moment when your 10 year old student comes in wearing an ABSURD amount of cologne.
Because it’s field day.
I Hate When That Happens
“I was washing my eyebrows. They got bushy.”
–kid, when he came back from the bathroom DRENCHED in water and we asked him what happened.
Smoother
That moment when you’re 100% certain this 10 year old boy is flirting with you.
And you’re so uncomfortable.
But also, why is he so much smoother than most grown men I’ve met in NYC?
Wait, no. His fly is unzipped.
And his voice just cracked.
Eh. Still smoother.
June 2nd
(Continuation of June 1st )
Kid: “Why do we have to learn this?”
Me: “Because someone’s paying me– albeit, pennies. You hear me? Pennies!– to teach it to you. PENNIES, kid!”
#june
Ebola Mom, Part 37
(Part of the Ebola Mom series)
Had you actually waited for my answer, Nance, it would have been fine.
Also– 99% chance your nanny bought drugs.
June 1st
Kid: “Why do we have to learn this?”
Me: “Because someone’s paying me to teach it to you.”
#june
He’s learned
“There’s no gift card in it.”– kid, handing my coteacher a birthday card.
He didn’t even sign the card. Or write a message.
He knew there was no point.
Watch Your Language
There is a staff photo wall in our school, with pictures of staff members partaking in activities they enjoy. My photo is an action shot from the NYC half marathon I ran.
Kid: “Ms. Emily, you look different in that picture on the wall downstairs.”
Me: “I know, I look super tough and athletic right?”
Kid: “No. Just younger.”
Then I ripped up the paper he was working on and flunked him.
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