Kid: “Happy birthday Miss Emily!”
Me: “Thanks kiddo!”
Kid: “Turning 25? (Charming grin)”
Me: “You didn’t do your homework, did you?”
Kid: <slinks away>
Nothing gets by THIS old lady.
Category Archives: Kids/Teaching
Thank You, Robert Durst
For providing me with a concrete response when my students ask why spelling is important.
“Because when you don’t spell correctly, you go to JAIL, kids!!!!!!!!!”
Ok. We Get It, Kid.
Kid (finishing math practice test): “I think I got everything right.”
Me: “Well, you must have GREAT teachers!”
Kid: “Yeah.”
Me: (going to give him a high five)
Kid: “At my Japanese school.”
Birthday Reassurances From a Kid
Kid: “It’s your birthday on Monday?!”
Me: “Yup!”
Kid: “How old will you be?”
Me (wide-eyed and dramatic): “Thirty THREE. Old, right?”
Kid: “No way, that’s not old at all! You’ve got a long life ahead!”
Me: “Aw, thanks kiddo!”
Kid: “Yeah my grandma didn’t die til she was like 52.”
True Things You Should Keep To Yourself
Me (to kids): “Let’s look at last night’s decimal homework. I know we didn’t really have time to do decimals in class yesterday…”
Kid (interrupting): “Yeah but I already know them.”
Me: “Ok, great.”
Kid: “Because I’m Japanese.”
These Kids Are As Excited About Tina Fey as I Am About Everything They Say Ever
The student council annouced that tomorrow’s theme is “Dress as your favorite character,” so I excitedly announced to all the kids that I am going to be Liz Lemon.
Take the blankest stare you can imagine. Like a serious dead-behind-the-eyes, couldn’t-care-less, wtf-are-you-talking-about stare. I was met with 28 of those.
Whatever, I’m not NOT going to wear the “TGS Staff” sweatshirt I ordered from the NBC store 5 years ago in hopes that this day would one day come. So you better do your homework* tonight, kids.
*”homework” = watch 30 Rock. Literally don’t care if you read or do math.
And Then There’s Fan Mail Like THIS from strangers….
….that make my damn day!
Falling squarely into the category of “What is WRONG with people?!”…this:
“Oh, man, I could suck on it FOREVER.”
— kid, age 9, who I was relieved to discover was referring to a lollipop.
Well, sort of relieved.
Kid was REALLY into it.
A Lesson in Boredom
While prepping for the state test….
Kid: “Why do the reading passages always have to be so boring?”
Me: “Well, kid– in life, there are always going to be things you have to do that you will find boring. Even as an adult. So just plug through and then balance the boring things with things that excite you.”
Kid: “Even as an ADULT things are this boring?!”
Me: “Yes.”
Kid: “Like what? What do you have to do as an adult that is THIS boring?”
Have this conversation.
Thanks, Lady
Last night at parent/teacher conferences, a parent told us that this summer, her family is moving to another state. We were sad to hear this, as we really like this family.
Us: “Well, be sure to keep in touch.”
Mom: “Of course. And if you two ever find yourselves in our area, please visit!”
Us: “We just might!”
Mom: “And call us if you ever need advice down the road…(looks at my co-teacher, who is engaged)…like if you decide to have kids one day (looks at me)…or a pet.”
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