“Have you heard of ‘Emily’s Posts’? It’s this really famous blog in America.”
— us, to this Israeli cab driver.
That’s his iPad. He follows me now.
Not sure he knows it, though.
#winning
Tag Archives: travel
Keeping it simple
I’ve always been a visual learner. Thanks, Israeli bathroom. (Not entirely sure about the serving tray….)
Shoshana
Shoshana (aka “Sho”), my Israeli alter ego who I will henceforth be referring to in the 3rd person, is so much more fun than my American self that I am starting to wonder if I have a legitimate split personality disorder. (Add it to the list. Or don’t. There’s no more room on the list. Even the margins are full).
But seriously. Sho stays up until 4am, drinks like a fish, is super extroverted, and likes to shop.
She also simply can NOT be bothered to wear a bra.
So I guess in that sense we’re the same.
Rules For Jewish Girl Travel
If you look at the historical site on the computer WHILE in Israel, you totally went to it.
“I’m sorry. I forgot to put in your order. What was it again?”
— waitress, 1 hour after we ordered.
#israel
Orthodox Jews Love Me
That moment when you wake from an Ambien-induced airplane slumber to find that the 10-year-old, yarmulke-wearing orthodox boy who was sitting next to you has now traded seats with his grandmother, as your tendency to unconsciously lean over, curl up and drool on his shoulder was making him uncomfortable.
I’m Never Making THAT Mistake Again
When I flew to Israel 2 years ago and went through the VERY intense security check, I was irrationally intimidated by the seriousness with which the Israeli man questioned me. So I did what I always do when I’m uncomfortable– I got sarcastic.
Security: “Are you jewish?”
Me: “Yes.”
Security: “Do you have a hebrew name?”
Me: “Yes.”
Security: “What is your hebrew name?”
Me: “Shoshana.”
Security: “Where did you get this name from?”
Me: “I don’t know…God?”
He did not smile. At all. In fact, there was a 10 second period where I was certain he was not going to let me on the plane.
So tonight when I go through the Israeli security, I will not be making that mistake again.
This time, I’ll give a wink after the sarcastic comment. Maybe even a friendly little “jk” punch to his shoulder.
Because I think the problem is that last time, he just missed the joke.
Which is ok.
Not everyone can be as smart as Americans.
Game Over
My cab driver didn’t say one damn word to me during the entire 40 minute ride from JFK to my apartment.
200 points NYC.
Final score: LA 581; NYC 354
(In case you’re unfamiliar with this game, which is played every time I visit LA, Spoiler Alert– NYC never wins. We have piles of garbage on our streets, guys. We’re disgusting.)
Clearly We Both Want This, Sir
That awkward moment on a plane during takeoff when you and the person next to you are playing a silent game of “who’s going to be the one to put the armrest down” chicken.
Airports Are My Favorite
“No. It doesn’t.”
— airport security, when they pulled a bottled water out of my bag and I remarked “Oops, forgot that was in there! I’m sure that happens all the time.”
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