Me: “You went to Israel this summer?! No way!! Me too!!”
Kid: <walks away>
Don’t fucking tell me what to do, M&Ms.
That moment when you’re on vacation and there’s a tornado.
They say it’s important to visit a third world country– ANY third world country– in order to gain perspective and appreciate what you have. So here I am in Laguardia airport.
This has to count.
Me (at falafel counter, overwhelmed by options): “What’s the best way to order falafel?”
Israeli friend: “Say ‘falafel.'”
Woman next to us on the Tel Aviv beach (pointing to her chair): “Can you watch this for me while I leave for a bit?”
“This” = her 3 year old child.
Oh, ok. Sure.
“You have the time for a fun?”
(Continuation of Tread Lightly )
Guy (after I told him I’m 33): “Who cares? Age is just a number!”
Me: “I agree. Thank you for saying that.”
Guy: “Yeah, trust me. I’m studying to be a doctor. I see people die at ALL ages.”
Stop talking forever.
Last night at Clara, a popular club/bar in Tel Aviv:
Guy: “I like this place, but everyone is so young. I’m definitely the oldest person here.”
Me: “Tread lightly. You are for SURE younger than I am.”
Guy: “Not a chance. I’m almost 26!”
And then I slapped him across his whiny, toddler face.