That moment when you catch your student sticking her finger so far up her nose, you can do nothing but sit back, watch, and see if it comes out her eye.
Category Archives: Kids/Teaching
Shame
On my prep, I overhear two 5th graders in the hallway:
Kid 1: “What time is it?”
Kid 2: “8:62”
Seriously– how do you still not understand the fundamental concepts of time?!? Shame on your 1st grade teacher.
Oh wait. That was me.
In fact, I was also your 3rd grade teacher.
Let’s never speak of this again.
Perhaps We Missed a Key Point When We Taught This Lesson
Kid: “What I learned from the American Revolution is that sometimes war is necessary to fight for our freedom, and if we didn’t have that war, we would STILL have to pay taxes today! But instead we get to keep all our money!”
I don’t want to be the one who has to tell him.
I’ll leave that to you, 5th grade.
Well That Was Awkward
A second grader just opened my classroom door, walked in, tapped me on the shoulder, and asked to borrow a book from my class library.
The awkward part is that I was alone and asleep on a bean bag chair when it happened.
#lastperiodprep #monday #donttellyourmom
Oh. She Noticed.
That moment when your classroom paraprofessional walks in and hands you this:
Guess my PMS isn’t as subtle as I thought.
You Won’t Even Know I’m There
That moment when you invite yourself on someone’s family vacation, because what they’re doing sounds pretty fun. And hey, you’re free all summer!
Go ahead, Lady. Rate me on THAT.
That moment during the superintendent’s visit when your student projectile vomits in the hallway.
No, I didn’t pay him to do that.
But it was fucking perfect.
Liberation!
That super liberating moment when you realize you don’t care at ALL about today’s visit from the superintendent. Lady, you do NOT know me, you do NOT know my kids, and you do NOT know my school. So if you take a 10 minute snapshot of my classroom and decide you don’t like what you see, I don’t want to work for you anyway.
Please don’t fire me though. I really want to travel this summer.
#summer #thegoldenhandcuffsoftheDOE
Yeah, Kid. I know.
While tutoring…
Me: “So the problem says there are 3 horses with 7 spots on each horse, then asks how many spots there are in all. So first, let’s draw the horses.” (I start drawing)
Kid: (laughing hysterically) “Those aren’t horses, they’re just blobs!”
Me: “Yes, I know honey. I’m not actually drawing horses, I’m just drawing circles to represent the horses. Because when you’re problem solving in math, you want to focus on the numbers, not on drawing pretty pictures.”
Kid: “Oh, ok. That makes sense.”
I was definitely trying to draw horses.
Must Be Mid-May
We’ve reached that point in the school year where not only are we letting the kids arm wrestle during dismissal, we’re standing back and taking bets on who will win.
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