Another day, another half-dollar.
“Never get married. Your taxes will go through the roof.” –Eric’s accountant, to Eric.
So then I shot Eric’s accountant.
Kid: “Miss Emily, is tooth fairy money pre-taxed?”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Kid: “The money I get from the tooth fairy– do I have to pay taxes on it?”
Me: “I’m shocked you even know what taxes are.”
Kid (clearly insulted): “Umm…yeah. I’m not stupid!!”
Oh. Sorry. I guess your BELIEF IN THE TOOTH FAIRY threw me off.
For me, Thanksgiving is all about handing your dad a tax document you don’t understand and begging him to please just take care of it for you.
Kid: “What I learned from the American Revolution is that sometimes war is necessary to fight for our freedom, and if we didn’t have that war, we would STILL have to pay taxes today! But instead we get to keep all our money!”
I’ll leave that to you, 5th grade.