Getting Nora ready to attend a Yom Kippur break fast….
Me: “We’re going to eat lots of yummy Jewish food! Like bagels, and lox, and maybe even some kugel!”
Nanny: “Oh! I love Jewish food.”
Me: “Oh really?”
Nanny: “Yes my favorite is spaghetti bolognese.”
Nanny: “I worked for this Jewish lady and EVERY single Thursday she make spaghetti bolognese and I tell my husband ‘Oh, I LOVE this Jewish food!”
Me: “Ok, but spaghetti bolognese is not, like, a traditionally JEWISH food.”
Nanny: “But she is Jewish.”
Me: “She’s just a Jew who likes spaghetti.”
Been cross-checking with married friends who know things, as I do not.
That moment when you order a garter for your wedding because people told you “You’re a bride, you HAVE to wear a garter!” and then it arrives and you instantly remember who you are as a person and return it.
(Part of the Ebola Mom series)
(related to My Judaism is Rusty )
Making dinner plans…
I didn’t even know it was still Passover.
This year we had two lovely, very inquisitive non-Jews at our Seder.
I did my best.
Guest: “And what does the maror symbolize?”
Me: “The bitterness of slavery.”
Guest: “And the charoset?”
Me: “The mortar the slaves used between the bricks when they were building for the Eygptian pharohs.”
Guest: “And how about the shank bone?”
Me: “That represents how the slaves passed the time all those years in the desert.”
Me: “They boned.”
For me, Thanksgiving is all about handing your dad a tax document you don’t understand and begging him to please just take care of it for you.
The key to feeling like a good Jew is dating an even worse Jew.