Tag Archives: culture

Bilingual

My sister: “It’s great having a nanny from Colombia because now Tyler is learning to speak Spanish.”

Me: “Yeah I mean that’s cool and all but anyone can learn Spanish– they teach that in school. Thanks to my nanny Nora will learn to speak…

(googles language of Trinidad)

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Oh.

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Goddamnit.

My Judaism is Rusty

This year we had two lovely, very inquisitive non-Jews at our Seder.

I did my best.

Guest: “And what does the maror symbolize?”

Me: “The bitterness of slavery.”

Guest: “And the charoset?”

Me: “The mortar the slaves used between the bricks when they were building for the Eygptian pharohs.”

Guest: “And how about the shank bone?”

Me: “That represents how the slaves passed the time all those years in the desert.”

(Silence)

Me: “They boned.”