They say in a marriage it’s important to discuss finances and be on the same page. Financials are not my forte, so we try to have a meaningful discussion at least once a week. Tonight’s:
Me: “I feel like we’ve been losing money in the stock market lately.”
Eric: “No we haven’t.”
Me: “Oh ok.”
And then I went back to eating bacon and scrolling Facebook.
Eric: “You wrote in your anniversary card that you love when we go splitsies. When have we ever split the bill?”
Me: “No, I meant, like, when we can’t decide between two main dishes– so you get the steak and I get the duck, and we split each dish. You know, splitsies.”
Eric: “So basically you love that you get to sample all the food that I pay for.”
It sounded cuter in my head.
(Screaming from the kitchen): “Oh my god babe, come ON! We are a dual income household now! There are things in life you just can NOT be cheap about! Seriously, I can’t live like this!”
–Eric, upon discovering I bought CVS brand paper towels.
You said “I hate it when you save money! Please spend all my money!”
Eric, after paying for our dinner last night at Mas Farmhouse and culminating a week-long, gifts-and-flowers-packed celebration of our anniversary:
“Man. This anniversary ended up being expensive. I should’ve just proposed.”
Um, yeah. Duh.
The important thing is that I know how to WITHDRAW the cash.
That first time there’s a family event and your dad doesn’t offer to pay for your accommodations.
No but seriously what do I do.
I was serious.
Just now I entered the elevator and two women were mid-conversation…
Woman 1: “So I ended up giving him the ring back. I just felt like it was the right thing to do.”
Woman 2: “Totally. I agree.”
Woman 1: “Anyway, please don’t judge my apartment when we go in. I know I’ve been here for a few months but I still can’t afford any furniture or a tv or anything.”
Yeah. Probably should have kept that ring…