Eric: “You wrote in your anniversary card that you love when we go splitsies. When have we ever split the bill?”

Me: “No, I meant, like, when we can’t decide between two main dishes– so you get the steak and I get the duck, and we split each dish. You know, splitsies.”

Eric: “So basically you love that you get to sample all the food that I pay for.”

(long pause)

Me: “Yes.”

It sounded cuter in my head.