(Continuation of Of All The Annoying Things Ex-Boyfriends Do )
This is why I do what I do.
Category Archives: Random Thoughts/Happenings
Of All The Annoying Things Ex-Boyfriends Do…
…this one is the WORST.
Weird Ways To Be Wished A Happy Birthday
Co worker: “Happy birthday! How old are you?”
Me: “Thanks! 33.”
Co worker: “Oh! Nice! The Jesus year!”
I’m no Jesus expert, but…wasn’t that a rough year for him?
On My 33rd Birthday Eve, A Note From a Frenemy
“Remember how much you resented me the day I arrived? And how I said I know you’re not happy to see me, but you better appreciate me while you have me, because even though I make you anxious, there will come a day when you will want me to hang around, but I won’t be able to, and you’ll miss me once I’m gone? Remember how you ignored all that and kept thinking I was the WORST?
Well how do you feel NOW, bitch?!”
<evil cackle over bubbling cauldron>
— Age 32, to me.
Rational Birthday Thoughts
Is this really necessary, MacBook? What are you trying to say? That I’m too damn old to remember my own birthday? That I now require TWO reminders in a row, just in case my aging, decaying brain can’t comprehend the first one? Well FUCK YOU.
Also thanks. I did sort of forget.
Returning to Israel: A Rational Decision
I recently made the decision to go back to Israel this summer, and my dear friend is not in favor of this. He questions why I would ever want to spend an extended amount of time in a place that I know, for a FACT, is dangerous and volatile– a place where my life, mental health, and well being will be under constant threat.
I don’t. That’s why I’m LEAVING New York, dummy.
Aw, Thanks Starbucks!
But you still owe me $1.6 million dollars. And about 92 hours of my life back. And an apology to all my students, my co-teacher, and my therapist for that day you accidentally gave me decaf.
Thank You, Robert Durst
For providing me with a concrete response when my students ask why spelling is important.
“Because when you don’t spell correctly, you go to JAIL, kids!!!!!!!!!”
Is Anyone Else Having This Problem?
Where they are seeing Robert Durst EVERYWHERE?!?
He drinks skinny vanilla no-foam lattes, btw. The drink of murderers.
Spring!!!
Just a typical run through Central Park on a spring day, passing by this adorable snowman couple holding hands…
And in case you’re in the park later and happen to spot these lovebirds on the 103rd st. transverse, the answer to your question is yes, I am the one who kicked their heads off and stabbed those butcher knives through their torsos.
#spring
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