Best gift I could ask for– life with this guy….
Tag Archives: birthday
“Sorry I didn’t wish you a happy birthday yesterday. I was just really busy.”
— student, age 10
On My 33rd Birthday Eve, A Note From a Frenemy
“Remember how much you resented me the day I arrived? And how I said I know you’re not happy to see me, but you better appreciate me while you have me, because even though I make you anxious, there will come a day when you will want me to hang around, but I won’t be able to, and you’ll miss me once I’m gone? Remember how you ignored all that and kept thinking I was the WORST?
Well how do you feel NOW, bitch?!”
<evil cackle over bubbling cauldron>
— Age 32, to me.
Rational Birthday Thoughts
Is this really necessary, MacBook? What are you trying to say? That I’m too damn old to remember my own birthday? That I now require TWO reminders in a row, just in case my aging, decaying brain can’t comprehend the first one? Well FUCK YOU.
Also thanks. I did sort of forget.
Aw, Thanks Starbucks!
But you still owe me $1.6 million dollars. And about 92 hours of my life back. And an apology to all my students, my co-teacher, and my therapist for that day you accidentally gave me decaf.
