Tag Archives: overanalyzing

A $300 Analysis

Me: “So I think I figured out why I can’t stomach seafood, even though I really want to like it. I try so hard to find seafood I can eat, but I’m just so averse to it. Then this memory came back to me out of nowhere the other day, but it makes so much sense. When I was younger I went on vacation with my family. We left our goldfish at home, unattended, because…well, it was a goldfish, so whatever. When we came back, I was the first one to walk into the kitchen and see, there on the counter, right where we’d snack every day after school, the goldfish– on its side, dried up, shriveled, sad black eye staring at the ceiling. He had probably jumped out of his bowl on day 1, either with a grand plan for freedom or a suicidal death wish, and been crusting over there on the countertop for a week. He was so plastered to the marble that we needed a metal spatula to pry him off. At which point my dad turned to us and said, ‘Fish for dinner!’ Which of course, in hindsight, is hilarious, but at the time I’m pretty sure I was horrified. But anyway, don’t you think that makes so much sense as to why I can’t eat seafood?”

Therapist: “Well do you like the taste of seafood?”

Me: “No.”

Therapist: “So it’s probably just that. You don’t like how it tastes.”



Therapist: “And why do you think you had that thought in response to that event?”

Me: “I don’t think there’s a reason, I think it’s just what popped into my head. For no reason at all. Can’t I just have a thought and there be no reason for it?”

Therapist: “If I believed that, I’d be out of a job.”

Me: “Touché. And I guess to be able to justify the cost of this session, I should think of a reason.”

Therapist: “Sure, if that motivates you.”

Me: “I think maybe my thought in response to this event signifies that deep down, I am just a frightened, lost, ignorant soul simply stumbling through the dark, terrifying abyss that is life.”

(long pause)

Therapist: “Alright rein it in.”