Look, I have to give credit where credit is due. I had absolutely zero expectations, comedy-wise, for last night’s Trump-hosted SNL episode. But I just watched it on DVR and I have to admit the show turned out a hilarious performance.
I am, of course, referring to Sia’s dancer.
Trump was fucking terrible.
Kid: “My mom is definitely going to vote for Hillary Clinton. And my Dad said that you are definitely going to vote for her too.”
Me: “Why– because I’m a woman?”
Kid: “No. Because you’re poor.”
The most annoying thing about Hillary Clinton running for president is that when I vote for her (and I will), everyone will say I only voted for her because she’s a woman. Which is just an ignorant and sexist thing to say, as it completely undermines my intelligence and projects the assumption that I know nothing about the issues or what is best for America. So I want to make it clear, right here and right now, that I am NOT voting for Hillary because she’s a woman.
I’m voting for her because she’s married to Bill.
Love that rascal!
In a lesson about classifying units of measurement…
Co-teacher: “So ounces and pounds measure WEIGHT. What do inches, centimeters, and feet measure?”
Student (raising hand enthusiastically): “Stuff!”
My co teacher was extremely concerned. But if you ask me, he answered the question (and not technically incorrectly, I might add), while staying extremely vague and noncommittal.
This kid is our future president.
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